Joanna Dickson
Staff Writer "My tongue is being eaten by lava." "Bread but....burger." "Of course they're gonna win! They have a boat full of hot men!" "Their bones are built like AA batteries." "You ate an AA battery?" "You're a fire hazard." "Have you ever gone to a movie, and your dad duct taped your mouth, so you don't talk?" "Are you sure your classroom is not an insane asylum?" "You’re a random email." "My trash is so trash." "Can I borrow a chair to use as a weapon?" "Why is there a llama on my socks?" "Is sacrificing gingers is still unacceptable?" “I just wanna be Canadian!” “Robot maternity.” “Whoever is leaving wet clay by the slab roller your mom is a… nice lady.” “It's like drinking a glass of milk with something at the bottom; you don’t notice there's something there until you finish. Then you throw up because there is a snail.” “You're a brown table.” “Egg… oh, it's an angry egg.” “Shush your little, smiling mouth.” “Oh my gosh! Hot man! Go back to the hot man.” “YOU’RE A MUFFIN TOP!” “I'm getting my robot baby.” “The sasta needs more past.” “Fleshy Kirby… Kirby.” “You're a bag of salami.” “Please don’t eat me!” “Look at me go guys; I’m an eggplant.” “I’m not a grandpa.” “Gotta get away from that monkey dude; he’s mean.” “That's Donkey Kong..” “I’m flipping your mom.” “My funeral shirt is hot pink.” “No, you're a wall.” “Three feet, dude. I have three feet.” “Your ears are poor conductors of electricity; you have rubber ear drums.” “Your truck smells like carrots like were baked wrong.” “A duck is just a waterproof chicken kazoo.” “You better clean those guts out of the sink when you're done.”
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Emory Anderson
Staff writer Praises to alarms - Punches to snoozing 100 times. Praises to Reddit stories - Punches to no part two. Praises to naps - Punches to waking up after dark Praises to ice skating - Punches to falling down. Praises to having a pencil - Punches to not having an eraser. Praises to dances - Punches to the cost. Praises to having games on your phone - Punches to your friends stealing your phone. Praises to sleepovers - Punches to getting no sleep. Praises to Taco Bell - Punches to the aftermath. Praises to online classes - Punches to getting behind in them. Praises to having glasses - Punches to breaking them. Praises to having a phone at school - Punches to getting it taken away. Praises to making a movie reference - Punches to no one getting it. Praises to going to the movies - Punches to the theater being full. Praises to traveling - Punches to driving the majority of the trip. Praises to having money - Punches to paying bills. Praises to starting a book - Punches to never finishing it. Praises to having Capris Suns - Punches to having to share. Praises to listening to music - Punches to not knowing any songs. Praises to talking in class - Punches to not paying attention. Praises to long nails - Punches to them always breaking. Praises to having money - Punches to spending it all on DoorDash. Praises to being crazy - Punches to rats. Praises to rats - Punches to rubber rooms. Baylie Kress
Staff Writer Valentine's day we spend with our loved ones. There is a moral story for Valentine’s Day; however, it was chosen because it spoke to the essay, the mouth is of romantics, and saint Valentine's Day. Valentines is celebrated in the middle of February. It is the anniversary of the death and burial of Valentines, a person who was in jail. It was around the 270 A.D. and other people in the world such as the Christian church want to have a little St. Valentine's Day parties therefore they can build an effort for their Christianity. They had other big stories about the Christians who killed Valentines because people would help them escape the prison in Rome and beat them up. Valentines, one of the prisoners, mentioned being in love with a girl while imprisoned. He would ask for paper to send love to his girlfriend. He did not want anyone to know they were dating so whenever she would visit they would say she was the jailer's daughter not his girlfriend while Valentine was in jail he was growing more ill. He wanted to see his girlfriend before he died and say everything he ever wanted to tell before he died. Knowing that he was struggling he wrote her a letter. When she read it, she was overcome with grief and cried to the point an officer had to escort her out. The man, Valentines, was Christian; it is one of the reasons he was in jail. He wanted to fight, as such he was caught when he did. He did not tell his girlfriend, Valentines, that he was in jail. When she finally found out, she was distressed that she could not spend her Valentine's Day with him. This couple’s Valentines Day was not at all special because they could not have a happy ending. “May your day be filled with love, laughter and unforgettable memories with your beloved ones.” Joanna Dickson
Staff Writer A new year is the beginning of a new chapter: 2024. New Year's Day is one of the many world-wide celebrations, and there are many different ways people celebrate. Numerous people in the United States watch the ball drop; however, Idaho had the potato drop in Boise. Although commemorating a new year is common, not all countries celebrate the same way. In Brazil some people celebrate by jumping in the ocean for a relaxing and refreshing dip. When midnight strikes, they jump into seven waves and make seven wishes. Before jumping into the water, it is traditional to wear all white, symbolizing purity, by showing the association with light. In Spain and many Latino countries most people eat 12 grapes which symbolizes each strike of the clock. The tradition of las doce uvas de la suerte, the 12 grapes of luck, started in the late 19th century and is believed to ward off evil while boosting the chances of a prosperous and lucky new year. Peopletry to eat all the grapes by the time the clock finishes striking midnight; each grape counts as a new year's wish. In India the people build a sculpture of an old man and burn it down. The burning symbolizes the passing of grievances and having space for the new year to be born. In Japan they celebrate the new year by eating a warm bowl of soba noodles. The tradition dates back to the Kamakura period in 1185 and is tied to a Buddhist temple giving out the noodles to the poor. This is mostly because the noodles are soft and firm, yet easy to bite. In Canada they usually ice fish to celebrate the holiday. Even though it is freezing cold, it does not stop them from participating in winter sports. Families rent heated huts and cooking equipment; therefore, they can enjoy their feast with loved ones on the spot. Colombian citizens ring in the new year by placing three potatoes (peeled, unpeeled, and partially peeled) under each family member's bed. At midnight, each family member picks one of the three potatoes under their bed. The chosen potato represents the wealth of their year: fortunate, unfortunate, or a mix of both. Celebrating with all these traditions like ice fishing, eating, burning down statues and so much more must be so much fun. There are many ways different cultures celebrate the new year. Happy 2024! Savana Carter
Staff Writer “I dislocated my finger yesterday pulling up my pants.” “Pingles.” “Never strangle an octopus because they are too slippery.” “The wind is a sugar mama.” “I can sue someone for my enjoyment.” “Why is your notebook so small?” “I don’t know; it’s average.” “The pigs are vampires for power.” “If we dry the green screen, will it catch on fire?” “Coles said not to make too many globs.” “But I like my globs.” “She freaked out about me touching something wet and sticky.” “When calculating the molar mass, if you get it wrong, that’s because you calculated the mass wrong.” “Why am I an old man?” “Wow, that’s a really good thumb.” “Why check the dark and sticky places when most of it is stuck underneath the desk?” “We need a trash can.” “What happened?” “Cheese and marshmallow.” “What's a pineapple?” “Why is there a donkey in the ocean?” “This is a basketball. It is orange.” “That's a whiteboard.” Ash Merritt
Assistant Editor Actors’ Repertory Theatre of Idaho (ARTI) performs many shows. One being The Play That Goes Wrong; this play is a reenactment of the play The Murder at Haversham Manor. The play continues to go “wrong” from the set falling apart to actors being knocked out by doors. The cast of this show consists of Wyatt Parks as Chris, Nate Olaveson as Trevor, Christian Brefle as Jonathan, Casey Wayne as Robert Haversham, Jack Loomis as Dennis, Payton Nash as Cecil, Azucena Luna as Florence Haversham, and Danni Westbrook as Sandra. The event starts out with Beci Beck, the director, talking about ARTI and how they are a non-profit theatre with activities to join and many shows to see. These events' funding is from the sponsors' donations, and the theatre does a giveaway every show. The funding buys new equipment and caters dinners. After Beck finishes her speech, the show begins with Trevor coming to introduce the premise. Sandra is in the background to fix the set. The set is broken from the start and becomes a running joke through the whole play. Jonathan starts the full play by tripping onto the stage and being the first of four deaths. Florence, Mr. Haversham, Cecil, and Dennis are the first to see Jonathan's body. Afterward, Mr. Haversham calls Chris to figure out what had happened to Jonathan. Chris, being the detective, runs around to interview each character to see what they had to say about the murder, and he looks for evidence of any clues or leads to this mystery. Within this time, it is found out there is an affair in the mix and a scandal of trying to tempt someone to trust another. By the end, there have been sword fighting, broken decor, poisoning, and the full set falling to pieces leaving the actors to plead for the play to end. By the end of this play, it is as if the audience has become aware of the quirks of some characters who need some “help” to remember their lines and how to say and spell certain words such as cyanide. These become amusing jokes and bring the audience and actors together. The actors have their own quirks out of character as well. Wayne is one of the actors who have been with ARTI since 2016. He explains that he feels that he is a part of the “ARTI family” being able to connect with anyone and everyone. ARTI being diverse and accepting of everyone to join and act with them. Another actor is Olaveson who has done many plays with ARTI and explains he does not enjoy doing “double wide Texas” plays because he loathes doing the heavy accent. ARTI is an experience and a different way to see entertainment. They perform many different shows and it is encouraged to enter an audition or see one of the plays they put on. Baylie Kress
Staff Writer Praises to eating ice cream - Punches to brain freezes Praises to obtaining a new phone - Punches to breaking it Praises having siblings - Punches to sharing a room Praises to Tik Tok - Punches to not enough sleep Praises to having a great night with friends - Punches to forgetting to study for a test Praises to putting stickers on water bottles - Punches to trying to take them off Praises to getting ready for school - Punches to not having enough time Praises to seeing your crush - Punches to saying something silly Praises to staying up late - Punches to waking up early Praises to having a white sweatshirt - Punches to it becoming dirty Praises to have your music on - Punches to your headphones disconnecting Praises to working out - Punches to being to sore muscles Praises to passing the drivers test - Punches not to having a car Praises to having friends in class - Punches to getting distracted by them Praises to ordering food - Punches to not knowing what you want Praises to writing a paragraph - Punches to forgetting the data Praises to living in an Idaho winter - Punches to living in an Idaho winter Praises to wearing a hat - Punches to having messy hair Praises to watching your favorite football team - Punches to them losing Grisel Gonzalez
Editor Being a member of the Bonneville High School (BHS) National Honors Society is an excellent privilege. Heading into this academic setting is fairly beneficial for students’ futures. “Service, community work, leadership building, and amazing scholarship opportunities” are just some of many benefits of being a part of the National Honors Society. Being a part of this society will look amazing on a resume and it demonstrates high quality grades. Only students with a 3.0 GPA or higher are accepted into the society. Not only are exceptional grades a necessity, but a superior sense of character is needed as well. People with leadership and teamwork skills are usually associated with this club. The BHS National Honors Society is a very well-respected organization that is an honor to be a part of. The society holds social events and takes part in community service. Their meetings are held the first and third Wednesday of every month during lunch. During these meetings, snacks are eaten and students exchange words with one another. There are currently 14 members and their club president this year is Isabella Cheney who is a junior this year. Mrs. Hawks, the teacher in charge of the National Honors Society, mentions the activities they take part in. “Clothing and food drives, making cards for the elderly and service members, animal shelters, babysitting, library fundraisers, school clean-ups, etc. Anything that would benefit the community or school.” These bigger projects usually take place after school or over the weekend. Each trimester everyone is required to have five individual service hours and five group service hours. The lunch meetings held during school go towards the group service hours as well. There used to be membership dues that the club members were required to pay; however, the school has enough funding to provide all the necessities. Taking the initiative to use spare time wisely and do beneficial things for the community is severely important. Taking this step shows a significant amount of maturity and responsibility that the BHS National Honors Society is looking for. Not only does the NHS help students work towards their academic goals, but it pushes them to grow socially and learn advantageous life skills. Lucy Ker
Staff Writer “Yo, do you weigh less than 98 pounds?” “Are you guys having a good time?” “Just wait till the probes get here.” “Can I tape you?” “Because we get stupider every year.” “You scream like a monkey.” “Yes, my wife is pregnant with our grandchildren, Sunny.” “Oh, your son is pregnant?” “No. My daughter is pregnant, and my son is getting married.” “You can rock climb his abs.” “No, you can't have 50 cats. Bro, that's too many cats.” “How on earth did you fall down the stairs again?” “I'm not pregnant; I just ate too much pasta.” “No, you can't steal a corpse!” “How do you lose a woman?” “I don’t know, I'm not in charge of the thing!” “No, you can't just kiss the deadly monster.” “How much trouble can you get in if you steal a cat?” “My bathroom lighting looks like a romantic scene.” “My limbs are falling off.” “What's my grinch name?” “Snatched dead tomato.” "I wonder if I try hard enough, can I jump off a high wall and live?” “You might break your legs in five to eight places." "Did the sub treat you like simple humans or like cattle?” “Wait, am I a human? I thought I was a person." "Have you seen my turtle-neck” “Why would you wear a turtle on your neck?" "Yesterday my friend got hit by a truck outside my house while trying to leave.” “I'm sorry, is your friend okay?” “The better question is: is the truck ok?" "I sleep in my soup." "So, the pig is gaslighting me now?" "What is he doing?” “He is trying to sing to Miley Cyrus” “Man, he is terrible.” “Yep, he is.” "Has anyone seen my pet spider? I lost him while using the bathroom." “I love my boyfriend, but I don't think he likes me back.” “I swear the E-wing stairs are life and death, man.” “Bro, graphing isn't that hard.” “How'd you leave class and nobody noticed?” ” Because I'm magic.” “You should write a book with how many times you hurt yourself by tripping.” “The cat got in the fridge again.” Grisel Gonzalezg
Editor Christmas is celebrated in various ways around the world, such as putting up lights on the house, baking cookies, watching Christmas movies, sending letters to Santa Claus, singing Christmas carols, and making ornaments. The word Christmas originates from the phrase “Cristes Maesse” meaning the mass of Christ in Old English. Christmas is a celebration of the anniversary of the birth of Jesus. The Roman Empire was the first civilization to officially celebrate Christmas on December 25 in 336 AD; however, it was not popularized until the ninth century. The date December 25 has a significant meaning, as it is exactly nine months after March 25, which is the date of Jesus’ crucifixion. The old emperor, Constantine, was the figure who formally established December 25 as the date that Christians would celebrate Christ’s birth. Although Christmas has been around for a while, it was properly declared a national holiday in 1870. Yule is another celebration that many partake in during the holiday season. Yule is a pagan holiday celebrated during the midwinter solstice that celebrates the return of the Sun. It begins on the shortest day of the year and ends 12 days later. The concept of Santa Claus originated from a story of a monk named St. Nicholas in the third century. Several sources mention that Nicholas was a tremendously giving man, and he traveled along the countryside helping the less fortunate. Nicholas was born an extremely wealthy man, and he used his inheritance to provide for others. Unfortunately, Nicholas passed away December 6, yet he was remembered for living a life of humility. He became the most popular and praised saint in Europe. The Europeans then brought his traditions to America, and in the 18th century he was widely recognized by American culture. Now called Santa Claus, Nicholas is described as a big-bearded man who wears a red suit and flies from rooftop to rooftop delivering presents with his nine reindeer. Another popular Christmas tradition is the act of gift giving. This idea dates back to when the Three Wise Men offered gifts to the newborn baby Jesus. These gifts were gold, frankincense, and myrrh; each of them representing a part of Jesus’ identity. In our world, today’s gifts are commonly placed under a Christmas tree or inside stockings. The idea of trees being decorated with ornaments, and lights originates from Germany in the 16th century. Records say Christians started to bring decorated Christmas trees into their homes, claiming the trees symbolized the birth, and resurrection of their savior Jesus Christ. Christmas allows families to celebrate and grow closer together, which is why it is the most wonderful time of the year! |
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