Praises and Punches - The Walls Have Ears

Eric Perez
Assistant Editor
Praises to the new Avatar movie-Punches to it taking thirteen years to make.
Praises to stickers-Punches to never getting the cover to peel off.
Praises to Marvel-Punches to the new stuff for not being as good.
Praises to airpods-Punches to being too broke to buy them.
Praises to Little Caesars-Punches to the service always being slow.
Praises to buttered popcorn-Punches to kernels getting stuck in your teeth.
Praises to basketball games-Punches to juniors sitting in the senior section.
Praises to Mario Kart-Punches to losing your friends because of it.
Praises to Call of Duty-Punches to breaking your controller out of anger.
Praises to school lunch-Punches to it be scalding hot or ice cold.
Praises to a safe school-Punches to  them locking all the other doors.
Praises to journalism-Punches to nobody getting their dang edits done.
Praises to the new year-Punches to the resolutions lasting only a week.
Praises to the winter season-Punches to seasonal depression.
Praises to Taylor Swift-Punches to concert tickets being so expensive.
Praises to Christmas-Punches to seeing your in-laws.
Praises to water-Punches to it tasting so lame.
Praises to English-Punches to DGP.

Eric Perez
Assistant Editor
“Why is she just like that?”
“You need to get out before I get out for you!”
“Yodie gang, need I say more?”
“I love her but she's not gayyy uhhhh…”
“I'm not going man, you got meniscus.”
“Monkey doesn’t wear any pants.”
“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m gonna kill you.”
“He’s my daddy and I want to be his little scrawny mommy.”
“I’m gonna force feed you in front of everyone.”
“It’s called seasonal depression kiddo! You ever heard of Zoloft!?”
“Why is the contact name Mommy Salami?”
“I push people down the stairs if they’re walking slow.”
“That good man smell…”
“I know how mayonnaise is made!”