A Push for Progress

Makenna Goertzen
Staff Writer
*Trigger Warning* - mentions of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse
  February is National Teenage Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Alarmingly, teen dating violence – a pattern of aggressive, abuse, and controlling behaviors that happen within a relationship, are common. Virtually, one in 11 teenage women and one in 14 teenage men have experienced physical abuse, while one in 8 female and one in 26 male high school students experience sexual abuse. The repercussions of this abuse can be and are very  detrimental to the survivor’s well-being and are at risk to develop addictions, mental disorders, take part in illegal activity, and become suicidal (CDC). Despite all of this, teen dating violence is usually preventable; however, when it is not when it is not, it is important to learn how to support victims.
  In an anonymous interview, it was voiced that, “...being supportive could just be having someone to talk to them and not tell them it is their fault.” When supporting a survivor of abuse, be there and listen. A lot of the time words are not needed to provide support for someone. It was also stated that the supporter should, “...just give them reassurance and do not corner them because when (I feel) cornered, I shut down.” Avoid pushing for information; survivors will open up when they feel safe.
  By creating safe environments, supporting victims, and teaching healthy relationship skills such as setting boundaries, consent, and respect, along with how to recognize warning signs, the violence can be stopped before it begins. To create a secure environment for teenagers, allow open and judgment-free communication when it comes to topics such as relationships and sex. Another way to show support  is to let them know that what they feel is validated, and to avoid victim-blaming— holding the victim at fault rather than the perpetrator. Consider using phrases such as “Nothing you did or could have done differently makes this your fault.” or “I know it can feel like you did something wrong, but I promise you didn’t.” Finally, know where to point them for professional help. Here are several resources to recommend them to, remember they are not obligated to call these helplines, so leave space for them to decide what they want to do.
National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1 (800) 779-723 - www.ndvh.org 
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline - 1 (866) 331-9474 - www.loveisrespect.org 
Idaho 24-Hour Domestic Violence Helpline - 1 (800) 669-3176 - www.icdv.idaho.gov  
“I show my scars so that others know they can heal” -Rhachelle Nicol

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