Walls Have Ears

Ash Merritt
Editor-in-Chief
“You smell like gravy. Yum.”
“Are you on your phone?” “No.” “What’s behind Garret?” “My Phone...” 
“I don’t want to call them. I’ll make Crawford call them.”
“Take her out on a date, but cut her steak for her. Like a true gentleman.”
“Why are you eating your sandwich like a squirrel?”
“If I eat eggs for breakfast, I can fart to the moon.”
“How is Yoshi alive if all the dinosaurs aren't?”
“Two Egypt-obsessed teenage boys use Italian voodoo to resurrect their mummy mommy.”
“I didn’t know if I could do Lebron Jace.”
“Why does it smell like that? It has that smelly smell that smells smelly.”
“I don’t have a moral problem, but I might have an immoral problem.”
“My head hurts so bad I think I can taste colors.”
“If I fall down the stairs and land on my feet, did I just successfully flip the water bottle?”
“That looks like pork.”
“If I am not getting paid for pooping, I must be really bad at it.”
“Oh sorry, I stepped on your eye.”
“That's not jellyfish. That's just wrong.”

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