The Walls Have Ears

Kirra Houpt 
Staff Writer
“That's great; I've been singing the Monk theme song in my head this whole time”.
“The closest descendant to the T-rex is a chicken … top of the food chain to the bottom.”
“What is Children of the Corn?” “It's about evil children in the corn.”
“What if I craap on the floor?”
“Ewww — relationships are gross, yuck!” “I know, right? All married couples need to break up… RIGHT NOW!!”
“I like gore; it's cool.” “Would you like to eat my intestines?” “Ew, no.”
“If you want to one up a conspiracy theorist, when they say ‘The moon landing is fake,’ say ‘Oh, you're one of those guys who believe in the moon?’”
“You look like a bird.” “Hey, birds are government drones.”
“You look fat, not pregnant.” “Well it's just a fake one, I'm a dude.”  “A short one.”
“Is that Polly Darton?”
“Get that worm out of my soup.”
“For my senior prank, I’m going to make the wifi work.”
“If I apply for the Mayor’s Scholarship, does that make me the mayor?”
“I'm in love with myself.” “Does that count as self love?” “No, I'm quite literally attracted to myself.” “Oh… ew.”
“I miss my grandma, she always made the best cookies.” “Awe, I'm sorry for your loss.” “She fell down the stairs, she's not dead.” “Oh..” “Yeah, she was laughing hysterically.” 
“You look like an angry bird.” “Like which one?” “The one with the big eyebrows.” “I don't have eyebrows.” “I know.” 

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